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We Always Have That: The Upside of Long Distance Relationships

March 24, 2010

Editor’s Note: Stephanie Jones opens a window into her long distance relationship, and the benefits to long-distance-relationship-ers, that people often don’t consider because they’re too busy cryin’ about missin’ somebody.  Tell it!

By Stephanie Jones

You know that feeling of anticipation when you’re about to see someone you really, really like but don’t get to see often? We always have that.

The butterflies in your belly when the phone rings and it’s HIM. We always have that.

The excitement of every time feeling like the first time. We always have that.

It never gets old, it never gets routine, and it never gets cumbersome. We have the full spectrum of relationship: arguments over money, arguments over how our time is spent, frustration that all of our needs are not getting met in the time frame that we desire, joy at the success of our children, pride in the accomplishments of our spouse, worry about our kids’ safety and what they’re exposed to, disappointment in our abilities to parent the way we’d like to, passion, commitment, the gamut of emotions that partnerships provide.

But we also always have the desire for more. Every time we see each other, we WANT to see each other.  Every conversation we have is as fresh as if it’s the first conversation we’ve ever had.  Every touch is a gift that we open with care, slowly, anticipating what’s inside the package not ripping it open with abandon. We luxuriate at the feel of skin on skin – because it’s always special, it’s always respected.  It never gets taken advantage of. We never forget that each moment we spend together is a blessing to be cherished and never turned into the mundane.

We share secrets that people could never fathom. And we value those secrets as if they were buried treasure, because they were excavated from deep within our souls.  We always have that.  We never let go of the knowledge that we share things with each other that no one else could even imagine – and would think us crazy if they knew.

We always have the excitement of newness while we also have the long term security of familiarity. After being together for such a long time, we finish one another’s sentences. We talk over each other, switch topics, come back around to the original, know one another’s pet peeves, favorite foods, salt versus sugar desires, can touch each other in just the right spot to elicit the response we want, know what to say to calm the other, rile up the other and through it all every moment is cherished as if it is the first and the last we will ever have.

Each costly phone call is worth every penny. The cost to travel to see one another is far less than the benefit of being in each other’s physical space. We always have that.  Our relationship is intentional.  We have made a choice to have this connection. It is not random nor happenstance. It is a commitment of intellect as well as spirit. Relationships of this nature take a commitment that few can fathom and even fewer keep.  We have that. We always have that. And so much more.

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