The Sable Verity

July 17, 2008

It seems like such a natural stereotype; the angry Black woman. 

I bring up this issue because a lot of people have been asking me in the wake of the James “Jage” Paroline murder, “why are Black women so angry”.  While mulling the complicated answer to that question I stopped over on myspace to check the profiles of the 2 women involved in the initial altercation; one has not been accessed since 2007, but the other, belong to Ebonie Shephard, was logged into today.

On myspace one can pick and display their mood for all to see. What was Ebonie’s mood?

Pissed off.

That of course brought my mind right back to the question, “why are Black women so angry”.

As I said, it’s complicated.

The short answer is that, it’s really easy to get angry and stay angry as a Black woman living in America.  When it comes to the social stratification ladder, we’re at the bottom.

We’re misunderstood and often not in control of our own identity, and we’re being pulled at from every possible direction; family, friends, work, children, self.

We’re the bitch.  Whether it’s Black bitch, or just bitch alone, we’re it.  We’re the welfare queen.  We’re the ho- hell, we’re even the video ho.  We’re the baby mamma.  We’re the maid, and the wash woman, and we’re the cause and solution of everyone else’s problems.

We’re left to handle everything alone.  Oh sure, we might get an encouraging word from friends, but ultimately the weight rests solely on our backs.

It is painful and lonely, and one is constantly feeling that they need to protect themselves.  When you ride the bus, you might bring a book, wear sunglasses or listen to your iPod; all to get folks to get the message “leave me alone”.

Well, the Black woman doesn’t need an iPod, and she damn sure doesn’t need sunglasses.  She has her stoic, even angry facial expressions to convey “get the hell away from me, leave me the hell alone.”

If one is not careful, it can be all consuming and that anger can ultimately block blessings coming our way.  I should know, after all, I am a Black woman, and there are times that I would definately describe myself as an angry Black woman, trying to protect myself from the rest of the world.

That anger can lead to pure, blind, uncontrolable rage, if not checked and checked quickly.

It’s easy for other people to say “get over it”.  Some things we can’t just get over for the sake of getting over.

What I had to realize for myself was that anger was blocking too many other things.

Yeah, so people don’t get what it’s like to be a Black woman here, fine.  But even if I sat down for 100 hours and recounted a million “Black woman” stories, they still wouldn’t get it; so that needs to be moved passed.

We sisters need to support each other more; we need to provide a safe place for the tears, the shouting, the cussing…the anger.  And when that time is over, we need to wipe away our tears, take a deep breath, hold our head high, and walk back out to the world, prepared to give of ourselves, knowing we deserve happiness like anyone else, claiming that happiness, washing ourselves in it every morning and every night.

Black women are phenominal; it’s not just a poem, it is the truth; we are the mother’s of civilization, the cornerstone this country was built on.  We are the riff in jazz and the spice in greens.  We are intellectuals, lovers, dreamers, artists and leaders.  We are the back bone, conscious and soul connection of our men and children.

We have a potential within that once tapped, infiltrates all things, and changes them forever, for the better.

It can be really easy to fall into the mindset that the world is our enemy…but am I an enemy to the world?  No.  I am not.  I am better than that.

It isn’t necessary for me to snap at everyone who crosses my path, who cuts me off with their car on the road, who makes eye contact with me on the street or in the grocery store.  Why feed a tempter?  Why feed anger?  Why immediately assume that all defenses need to be thrown up, when in actuality, they don’t?

I’ve been called a nigger to my face; a Black bitch, right in front of my children, for stupid things like not letting a car force its way into my lane.  The urge to get out of the car and pummel has been there, I’m not going to lie.  The desire to “teach a lesson” flashes before my eyes at times.  The instinct to show that person “I won’t be disrespected” flares.

Depending on what else has hit me that day, the anger may stick around for a while, usually until I get on the phone with someone likeminded and vent it out.

Being the bigger person get’s tiring.  Biting my tongue leaves the taste of blood in my mouth on a regular basis.  But no one ever said that doing the right thing was easy.  So I swollow, and I take it.

When I look at girls like Ebonie Shephard, who are constantly pissed off at the world and expressing that anger with violence, I cringe. 

You are showing the world that you are a dark minded and angry person, and you are showing the world that it should continue to treat you (and by relation, me and every other Black woman) with contempt.  You are feeding the sick cycle of biggotry and hatred.

I learned Joy by watching other joyous women of color in my life; by turning to them, by understanding how they handle the challenges of life as a Black woman.

Now, some may be tempted to think (and submit a comment) or suggest that if we as Black women just “let go” of that who Black woman/color/race thing, maybe it won’t be so tough.

You let go of it. 

It’s just not that easy.  I have said before and will say it again now, I only knew I was a human being until society taught me that I was Black.  I can’t let go of my Blackness anymore than White people can let go of White privilage.  We are who we are.

The question is, how are we going to live the life we’ve been given, as Black women?

Being pissed off all the time?  Being a victim all the time?

Or finding authentic joy for ourselves, and giving it to others. 

The choice is yours.  But rest assured, you are not a victim; you’re angry because you want to be.  When you desire more for yoruself, you’ll find a way to move past that, and people will naturally come into your life to help you with that journey.

Until then, you’ll just be another typical pissed off Black woman, and you’ll be alone.

Peace-

Sable Verity

Here are some excerpts of emails and comments about the traffic circle murder in Rainier Beach:

Killing was a hate crime:

1. Why is everyone pretending there is not a racial aspect to this story. Would the young women have screamed and yelled at a 60-year old black man? I doubt it. Would the young man have hit a 60-year old black man? I doubt it. Everyone seems quick to blame the 60-year old man for his own death. There is no reason those young women should have even confronted the man, they could have simply drove around the other way and called the police to deal with the traffic cones. Does this give me the right to start a confrontation with every black youth with an ultra-loud and illegal car stereo system, and then call a white friend to come and punch him? If the colors were reversed, every black leader in the country would be crying racism and hate crime, and demanding that every white person involved be charged with a hate crime.

2. If this wasn’t a hate crime I don’t know what is. A crime against humanity!

 

Family member of suspect expresses sorrow

Brian is my cousin and I’m grateful that he has turned himself in. I cannot believe that this has happened. My prayers are with Brian and the victim’s family.

 

Fight like a man

a man would not fight when he can walk away
a man would not call his mama. What can she say?
a man would not use a church to hide his guilt
a man can hold his own because that’s the way he’s built.

 

Race has nothing to do with it

1. This issue is not about color at all, it is about this generation as a whole. This generation is developing a narcissistic attitude toward human life in general. Children of all races have become desensitized toward civil rights and healthy social relationships within the community and television, music, video games and magazines don’t make it any better! I am a black woman and I know these individuals. What they did was a horrible act against another human being. But this issue goes much deeper than skin. This is psychological. These kids are not being fed hatred against “white people”, these kids are being fed hatred against themselves and no one has a perfect solution to fix this problem.

2…Regardless of race, today’s parents are to blame for the state of youth today. Discipline is not handed out consistently, and it seems that some parents just don’t care, or don’t know how to provide guidelines and guidance. If any of these kids are minors, their parents should be held accountable. I’ve raised 2 children, by myself; I’m the only one to blame if my children grew up without values and morals. Our children learn from what they see; learn from their role models. Where are their parents/guardians? A five year old knows the difference between right and wrong; the truth and a lie. This is a hideous crime, and we should all be enraged by it.

3. Maybe I’m getting old, but I feel like I see a lot more of a thoughtless and unfeeling attitude in some teens and young adults (in kids of all races) - seems like all that means anything to them or is real to them is THEIR feelings, THEIR concerns, other people aren’t real so they don’t have to be polite to other people, do anything for other people, care about other people.

 

Where ‘race’ fits in

1. I am glad to see someone from the offenders’ same racial community has something honest to say about this happening. The fact is, when something like this happens, we in the white community do tend to collectively think “Poor old white man did not want to leave his home or community and he paid with his life”. Many of us also think “why should we (whites) be so concerned about what is happening in the black community when they allow this to go on every day”. I believe many of us also think “if this was reversed, black activists would be all over the news about it.” [I can say I am not alone in my opinion because I speak with other racially sensitive white folks about this type of stuff in daily life]. Is this the result of the offenders racial hatred and anger? If so, how long will our nations racial past be an excuse for revenge? How long will we be expected to keep our feelings inside because we “can’t understand what it is like to be afraid of being pulled over by a white cop”? No matter how you slice it, this type of thing is bad for all of us. We keep taking 1 step forward, 2 steps back.

2. I have been threatened by blacks in Seattle on a few occasions over the years, for what appeared to be my white skin color, but never by whites (I am white). I can see myself in Paroline’s shoes, had I ever stuck up for myself and challenged those angry and confused black men and women. The reason I never defended myself from public humiliation is because I felt that if I did, I might end up seriously wounded or dead.  The hate of the white man is, in my eyes, clear as day in South Seattle, where I live. There are many blacks around me for whom this is not an issue whatsoever — most of them are African immigrants or Muslim. Many purportedly “Christian” American-bred blacks, especially the ill-educated, seem to be spoonfed the idea from birth that the white man all around them is their oppressor — to be hated and scorned, taunted and stolen from at every chance.  If a white person talks openly about reverse discrimination (blacks against whites) in South Seattle, they tend to be reprimanded by both blacks and whites. Yet the whites are a minority in most neighborhoods in South Seattle.

 

Onlookers could have done more

But I also asked myself what I would’ve done if I were one of the onlookers, and I like to think that I may have tried to reason with the young women on Mr. Paroline’s behalf. He was obviously surrounded, and being taunted. Couldn’t someone with a cooler, more objective head approach the situation and act as mediator? Why do people feel the need to let things escalate to tragedy before they become involved? People stopped to capture the scene digitally, yet who stepped in to help Mr. Paroline? Perhaps if the folks observing all gathered, in community, with Mr. Paroline, the girls would’ve left and Mr. Brown would’ve been driven past the circle without incident. Now that he’s gone, though, everyone wants to help him get justice, but I really feel that there is plenty of blame to heap on everybody here.

 

 Young women should be charged with a crime

I was apalled by this entire incident for so many reasons- and I couldn’t possibly write them all here. It was completely reactive and unnecessary and in the space of a 2 minute phone call for reinforcement (not needed)from their thug friend, lives will be changed forever. I don’t understand the apathy in our young teens and adults today. Was it really that serious? They had to call for back up? I think the girls (yes, I said GIRLS because most grown women I know do not, nor would they ever behave this way and if they found out their daughters did, there would ass kicking from here to Alabama.) should be charged as accomplices at the VERY least. And I hope to see the lil GIRL who made the phone call to Mr. Bad Ass get charged as an accessory. Why? Because something tells me she knew damn well exactly what would happen when she made that call. There needs to be consequences all around and I for one, can’t wait to see it.

From most recent to oldest:

An eye for an eye? http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/18/an-eye-for-an-eye-jage-paroline-and-brian-keith-brown/

When Black women become Angry Black Women http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/18/black-women-need-to-let-go-of-daily-anger-and-heal-a-note-to-ebonie-shephard-and-others/

Community gives diverse comments http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/the-death-of-james-paroline-a-community-speaks/

Objectivity through outrage http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/objectivity-outrage-and-the-traffic-circle-murder/

Suspect in killing surrenders  http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/breaking-james-parolines-killer-brian-keith-brown-caught-alive/

Sable Verity discusses Paroline killing on Dave Ross 710AM http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/breaking-james-parolines-killer-brian-keith-brown-caught-alive/

Everyone involved in Paroline killing are responsible for his death  http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/brown-shephard-and-hicks-james-parolines-death-casts-doubt-on-mere-character/

Women involved in Paroline altercation, killing, insist court documents are wrong http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/what-about-the-video-tape-young-women-in-paroline-killing-dispute-court-documents/

Mother of Paroline’s accused killer says son was “only trying to help”  http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/mother-of-james-parolines-accused-killer-says-son-was-trying-to-help/

Who else had a hand in death of paroline? http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/are-they-witnesses-or-accomplices-to-seattle-paroline-murder/

Suspect ID’d in Paroline murder http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/breaking-suspect-idd-in-shocking-seattle-garden-murder/

The picture that said much more than just a thousand words http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/seattle-murder-leaves-us-all-shocked/

July 16, 2008

It always comes down to choice.

I will explain more of that later.  I have been doing my fair share of ranting and raving about those involved in the James Paroline incident.

It started with a photo, run by the Seattle PI.  It showed a man in a t-shirt and shorts…sandals on his feet, lying just to the side of a traffic circle.  Not an overgrown, unsightly, or barren traffic circle.  No, this one had a garden in it, and was the baby of James Paroline, 60, a resident of Rainier Beach.

I was on the phone with my sister when I first saw the photo.  As my disclaimer, I have to say that I have seen a lot of difficult images in my life, and over the past five years, it’s safe to say that not a week goes by that I do not see something, indescribably graphic.

The truth is, I do not have to go further than my own mind, my own memories, my own life experiences.  How many people can say they have witnessed the moment that another person dies?  The moment that their essence is forever gone?  I can.  So, on the phone with my sister as the time I was skimming the PI for general news updates, suddenly, before I even had time to think, or to prepare, I had that experience again.  To say that it profoundly impacted me at that time, is an understatement.  The words that I have available to me will never be enough to accurately describe my physical, mental and emotional response to the picture.

To recover, I had to know what was going on.  Who did this?  How did this happen?

Cones in the street.

A garden hose.

An altercation with 3 young Black women.

The recruitment of a Black male by these same young women.

A punch to the face; breaking the victim’s nose, jaw, and knocking him unconscious.

A deadly fall to the ground.

A life ended.

As a Black woman, a mother to Black children, an active, passionate advocate for civil rights and social justice, I have spent hours upon hours vetting this situation out with friends, family and colleagues. 

What has happened to the Black youth?  What is wrong with our sisters (of all ages)?  What has happened to our brothers?

There is no self respect, no respect for others.  There is violence and dysfunctionally-negative mindsets that permeate like a cancer. 

The violence.  The apathy.

The pain and the anger.

The girls involved claim that victim sprayed one with water, choked or slapped her.  But there are videos that tell a different story.  Video so compelling the suspect, though at large, has already been charged with murder in the second degree.

In the last few hours the at least one of the young women has come forward and said (paraphrasing) “this is not fair, you do not know what happened, we’re good people, he (the victim) was the aggressor.

Maybe he was and maybe, as I am inclined to lean toward for now, he was not.

The mother of the suspect has also come forward to say that her son is sweet and caring.  The mother of his son says that he always wants to help people.

But the suspect’s mother also offers that her son was “trying to help”, some girls.

I ask in all honesty; help how?

Really, how does sucker punching a man in the face “help” the young women involved? 

If, and so far it is a big if, the deceased got physical with one of the women; they were not in physical contact when the suspect arrived on the scene, after one of the women went to get him.

Why, if an assault had occurred, why not call 911 and leave it at that?

Why vigilante style justice?

Something is not right in one’s mind if violence is their natural solution.  If the natural reaction is to go and get someone other than the police, that is a problem. 

All we are left with is the death of a man.

Three girls running from accountability

And a 28 year old man who knows, wherever he is tonight, that his life is over too.

It always comes down to personal choice.  It does not matter what another person does, it matters how one respond’s to it; that was one of the many messages of Dr. King.  I know it may seem corny to bring in King on this, but it is true.  Choice was the foundation of the non-violence movement. 

That leads me to the conclusion that these people, these young women and this young man, have no conscious connection to the history and their heritage.  This too, is a problem.  If you are not well rooted in where you came from, you’ll have no idea where you are going in this life, and in this world.

To be continued…http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/objectivity-outrage-and-the-traffic-circle-murder/

July 15, 2008

Originally posted July 14, 2008

Take a close look at these faces

There is a simple question many in Seattle want to know the answer; which of these girls are witnesses, and which of them are accomplices in the death of James Paroline of Rainier Beach, Seattle WA?

If you’re new to this story, this is what you need to know:

At about 7:45 p.m. last Wednesday, Paroline was watering the little garden he had planted on the traffic circle at 61st Avenue South and South Cooper Street. He ran a garden hose from his house at the corner to the traffic circle — one of roughly 700 that city transportation officials estimate have gardens on them.

Paroline put a traffic cone in the right lane to keep drivers from driving over the hose.

Several young women and girls in cars told Paroline to move the cones so they could pass. He refused, and the girls eventually got out of their cars, a police report said. The confrontation escalated, and the girls later alleged Paroline squirted them with water from the hose, according to court documents.

A video shot by a neighbor doesn’t show the alleged spraying, and it appears to show Paroline ignoring the girls, according to a police report. The girls can be heard yelling that he squirted them with water and that he assaulted one of them, according to court documents. The girls circled Paroline continuing to scream before they eventually walked away.

A few moments later, police say that Brian Brown — dressed in a do-rag, gray tank top and blue jeans — arrived in a silver Buick.

“He walked up to Paroline, paused as though he may have been saying something, then suddenly sucker-punched Paroline hard in the jaw or face,” court documents allege.

The 60-year-old’s hands were at his side when he was struck, and he fell backward, possibly being knocked unconscious when his head hit the street with a loud pop, police say.

This picture has purposely been altered out of respect for the victim

That is Paroline, near death just moments after being attacked, his skull caved in for all to see.

One of the girls was quoted in the paper:

“You already have the story, but you have it wrong,” said Ebonie Shephard, a 22-year-old interviewed at the scene on Monday. “I have a lawyer. I’m not going to talk to you or anybody about this.”

I wonder if she was aware at the time of her smart ass comments that someone had captured the entire incident on tape; which was clearly what police and prosecutors used to decide if he would be charged, and with what (2nd degree murder, as it stands).

The girls, a few a which are pictured above, are named in the King County documents as Ebonie Shephard, Patrina Hicks, Shawanda Meneese, Tawnetta Wyrick, Asanti Brown, and Prissa Martindale.

We know that three of the girls were involved in taunting Paroline and then calling Brown to come and do something to him, and the other three are “witnesses” .  We do not know which is which, but many want to.

On one of the girl’s myspace page, it reads “”People change, things go wrong, stuff happens life goes on”.

On yet another, is this colorful message:

Hi my name is Ebonie. I am a coo ass person very laid back and love to hang out and do fun stuff and be around alot people I hate fake ass people can't even do it. I am so past that part of my life i am on my grown women. I just like to have fun i get along with mostly everyone i meet and as long as you dont piss me off it will be all good so if you can obey my wishes then holla at me when can kick it sometimes.

Based on the last login dates, it seems the girls are going on about their lives not having a care in the world.

One of the pages was listed as private, but I was struck at the fact that the 15 year old girl it belonged to lists herself as “Miss Hottie.”  Talk about lack of self worth.  Where are her parents?

As it stands, police are stilling looking for this man, Brian Brown:

 Lastly, and simply a pet peeve of mine: It would be great if someone could remind the Department of Licensing, from which this photo originated, that one is not allowed, legally, to have anything on their head for their driver’s license photo, unless it is of religious affiliation.  The doo-rag, no matter what some brotha’s might claim, is not now, never has been and damn sure never will be a religious item.

Update July 15, 2008:  Prosecutors have charged none of the females involved in this situation? 

Will they, or did they agree not to in exchange for their testimony.  While that is possible, I don’t find it likely or necessary; too many people saw what happened to Paroline, hell, yesterday we found out the entire altercation and subsiquent attack were caught on video, so they have Brown dead to rights…while they were able to get the identity of the suspect out of the girls a day later, they really didn’t need anything from them.  A few days of waiting it out and watching their cell phone activity would have led to Brian Keith Brown, the suspect charged with 2nd degree murder.

But what about these girls.  Fine, three were witnesses.  But what about the other three?  Those that got out of their car to taunt Paroline and throw water on him, doing their best to intimidate him because of the cones he had placed in the street.  What abou t the one who called Brown (or called their sister to call Brown) to the scene to ‘handle it’.

Did they think Brian Brown was going to mediate the dispute using his brilliant oral skills?

No.

They called Brian Brown to the scene because they wanted to see him punch the life out of this man, which is exactly what Mr. Brown did.  Paroline hit the ground so hard, the loud pop (of his skull caving) described below could be heard halfway down the block from the traffic circle garden.

There is much more than a moral responsibility here, there is a legal, criminal one. 

When you have messages on myspace that say, basically, do as I say or suffer the consiquences, don’t piss me off and you won’t get fucked up…when that is your “about me” message, sister girl you have real issues with yourself.  It has nothing to do with what other people do, it has to do with what you do. 

And for this same young woman, Ebonie Shephard, to claim that we don’t know what really happened…there was a video camera not thirty feet away, dear, so shut the hell up with all of that.  Forgive me, but no one is inclined to give you or your friends the benefit of the doubt on this, no one. 

This is the real mean of menace to society.  Get the “Natural Born Killers” image out of your head.  To taunt and intimidate an older adult, throw water on him outside of his house…

Truly, for the life of me, to the neighbors and the girls, what the hell is the big deal?!  Some cones up to protect a hose.  I can’t understand why anyone wanted to get snotty about it or call the police; when people block one side of the road with a moving van and put up cones, who is calling the police if you can still safely get down the street?  No one.  Could the street be safely traveled down in this case?  Yeah.  Go the othe way.  Big deal.

They went after this man in his immediate neighborhood, and then called someone to come reinforce their attempts to intimidate the man.

Intimidation, assault, planning or soliciting assault, intent to do bodily harm, those are all things that point to a crime.

They should be charged.  Then let “a jury of your peers” decide what should be done.

A copy of the charging papers can be found at:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/ABPub/2008/07/14/2008051243.pdf

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/370721_circle15.html

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008051182_webtrafficcircle14m.html

 http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/12/seattle-murder-leaves-us-all-shocked/

http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/14/breaking-suspect-idd-in-shocking-seattle-garden-murder/

“So, have you stopped to think about whether or not you’re being just a tad harsh?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, it just doesn’t seem like you’re being very objective on the website,” he said gingerly.

“Objective?” I nearly balked.  “What do you want me to be objective about?”

“Dave Ross quoted you as saying the girls are responsible for that man’s death, do you really think that is fair?”

“Ummm, yeaaaah, I do.”

“Don’t you think they’re sorry?” he asked.

“Sure they are.  Someone is dead.  I would HOPE they are sorry for that.”

“And what about him, Brian Brown?  Do you think he is a killer?”

“He is a killer.  He punched someone and he died.  He broke his nose and his jaw.  The muscles were all torn up in his face.  His skull was splattered all over the concrete.”

“But he didn’t mean to do it,” he insisted.

“Right.  He meant to talk to him and somehow tripped and punched him in the face.”

“Okay, look, all I am saying is, I’m sure there are other factors that need to be taken into considerations.”

That’s the gist of a conversation I had with a friend of mine today.

I know what he was getting at, but I didn’t necessarily want to hear it.  For lack of a less offensive term, he- and others- do not want to see a lynch mob go after Brian Brown, Ebonie Shephard or Patrina Hicks.  He doesn’t want them to be cast as subhuman, beyond hope, the lowest of the low, the scum of the earth.  I get that.

I do not think that by expressing my feelings, I am irrational, or casting anyone other than what they have shown themselves to be.

I do not think that anyone in this situation is beyond the possibility of personal change.

I understand that people made mistakes, and yes, I believe that again and again, in this situation, mistakes were made.  Mistakes that cannot be undone.

There is no reprogramming of the game to get a second life.

And, as if it weren’t already made clear by previous posts, I am fed up with this kind of behavior.  I am fed up with people underestimating what can happen when we’re reckless.  I am fed up with senseless death and violence, and this provided an opportunity to express it, not just for me, but for many people.  This provided an opportunity to draw attention to a huge problem that we have within ALL of our communities.

I am not sitting, high and mighty in “judgement” of others from my house on the hill.  I love my people, I love our children.  I want to be a supporting force, I want to be proud.  I want to hear and see good things, and good news.

No, I do not think that I have all the answers.  I don’t.  If I had a magic wand we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.  Yes, I’ve underlined personal accountability.  But where people will not hold themselves accountable, that is where the rest of a community comes in; schools, churches, elders, counselors, store owners, librarians, and so on.

And we need to engage our youth.  We need to get them in a room and hash this out.  We need to call things to the carpet.  We need to set up agreements with them, as families and communities.  We need to know what they need from us and then we need to give them those things.

We need to find out what will get them off of the street corner, what will help them make better choices, so they don’t do things like resort to violence.  We need to support their families and whatever may be going on at the home front; we need to weave an entirely new foundation, and help our children and our youth chart their direction in life, and help them stick to it.  When we can do those things, we can begin to make change.  But when?  When is it going to happen?  I don’t have the answer, but I know that we have the resources. 

Do we have the desire?  Do we have the will?

We’ve closed a chapter in this disaster; the suspect has given himself up.  I cannot say enough how outstanding I think the Seattle Medium, Chris H. Bennett, and the NAACP handled this; I commend the suspect’s friends and family for helping him to do the right thing.  I hope that he continues to do the right thing and take responsibility for what he has done.  I hope that he can use his life, to serve as a model for other young Black men, and young people in general, because, his story does not have to end here.  It can continue in many different ways…it just depends on what he decides to do with all of this.

Yes, I do still believe, based on the information available to date, that there are still arrests that need to be made.  After all, Brian Brown would have never crossed paths with James Paroline if someone else had not compelled him to; that person needs to be held accountable. 

My despair comes from the death.

My outrage comes from the circumstances, and the business left incomplete: who recruited Brian Brown?

So yes, I believe my objectivity is in tact.  I am aware that Mr. Brown is probably very scared; I am certain he is aware of all of the news coverage and all of the opinions that have been put out there about him, about his friends, and about Black people in general.

I am sure the girls feel like they too are good people, and that people don’t see the good, and that that isn’t fair to them- they didn’t mean for a man to die.

Unfortunately, the reality doesn’t end there. 

I always lecture on intention, because intention is often used as an excuse to not be held accountable for so many things.  Usually I use these lessons in racially charged situations, when someone makes a racist mistake and then tries to pawn it off on the fact that it wasn’t their “intention” to make that gaffe.

Well the lesson is really the same.  Usually I say this:

Let’s say that I am in a room, standing behind a closed door.  You come open the door to come in and give me something.  You do not know that I am behind the door, and you open it with such force that it hits me in the face, breaking my nose.  Blood gushed down my lips and chin, splattering onto my expensive silk blouse and suede shoes. 

I am crying in pain, and you are horrified by what has happened.

Did you intend to break my nose?  Of course not.  Is it broken?  Yeah.  Are you going to try and tell me that I don’t need to go to the doctor, or cry from pain, because you didn’t mean to do it, you only intended to bring me something?  Not likely.

Hopefully you would say that you’re sorry, and get me some ice.

It’s the same situation here.  You meant to hurt the man, but not kill him.  But you did.  You meant to go and get someone to help you, but instead they made it worse.

That is the reality we are faced with.  We are not faced with the intended act, we’re faced with the act.

Intention is like potential; neither of them is in the present.  If I am focused on intention, I am not focused on reality.  If I am focused on a person’s potential, I am not necessarily focused on who they are in this moment.

The issue is complex, and I can see that.  I spend hours at a time thinking and writing about it, answering emails and calls, responding to messages and comments.

I am also clear that we should not lose sight of the victim.  His name is James “Jage” Paroline.  He was a gentle man who loved the flowers in his yard (and it sounds like everyone else’s too!) and enjoyed tending to the traffic circle. 

That man is no longer here.  I’ll not have the change to see his smile or shake his hand.  I am sorrowful, deeply sorrowful for his horrific, tragic death, and it is in his memory, not just in the adjacent issues, that I’ve covered this issue and the perils facing “the Beach”.

Peace-

Sable Verity