The Sable Verity

July 17, 2008

It seems like such a natural stereotype; the angry Black woman. 

I bring up this issue because a lot of people have been asking me in the wake of the James “Jage” Paroline murder, “why are Black women so angry”.  While mulling the complicated answer to that question I stopped over on myspace to check the profiles of the 2 women involved in the initial altercation; one has not been accessed since 2007, but the other, belong to Ebonie Shephard, was logged into today.

On myspace one can pick and display their mood for all to see. What was Ebonie’s mood?

Pissed off.

That of course brought my mind right back to the question, “why are Black women so angry”.

As I said, it’s complicated.

The short answer is that, it’s really easy to get angry and stay angry as a Black woman living in America.  When it comes to the social stratification ladder, we’re at the bottom.

We’re misunderstood and often not in control of our own identity, and we’re being pulled at from every possible direction; family, friends, work, children, self.

We’re the bitch.  Whether it’s Black bitch, or just bitch alone, we’re it.  We’re the welfare queen.  We’re the ho- hell, we’re even the video ho.  We’re the baby mamma.  We’re the maid, and the wash woman, and we’re the cause and solution of everyone else’s problems.

We’re left to handle everything alone.  Oh sure, we might get an encouraging word from friends, but ultimately the weight rests solely on our backs.

It is painful and lonely, and one is constantly feeling that they need to protect themselves.  When you ride the bus, you might bring a book, wear sunglasses or listen to your iPod; all to get folks to get the message “leave me alone”.

Well, the Black woman doesn’t need an iPod, and she damn sure doesn’t need sunglasses.  She has her stoic, even angry facial expressions to convey “get the hell away from me, leave me the hell alone.”

If one is not careful, it can be all consuming and that anger can ultimately block blessings coming our way.  I should know, after all, I am a Black woman, and there are times that I would definately describe myself as an angry Black woman, trying to protect myself from the rest of the world.

That anger can lead to pure, blind, uncontrolable rage, if not checked and checked quickly.

It’s easy for other people to say “get over it”.  Some things we can’t just get over for the sake of getting over.

What I had to realize for myself was that anger was blocking too many other things.

Yeah, so people don’t get what it’s like to be a Black woman here, fine.  But even if I sat down for 100 hours and recounted a million “Black woman” stories, they still wouldn’t get it; so that needs to be moved passed.

We sisters need to support each other more; we need to provide a safe place for the tears, the shouting, the cussing…the anger.  And when that time is over, we need to wipe away our tears, take a deep breath, hold our head high, and walk back out to the world, prepared to give of ourselves, knowing we deserve happiness like anyone else, claiming that happiness, washing ourselves in it every morning and every night.

Black women are phenominal; it’s not just a poem, it is the truth; we are the mother’s of civilization, the cornerstone this country was built on.  We are the riff in jazz and the spice in greens.  We are intellectuals, lovers, dreamers, artists and leaders.  We are the back bone, conscious and soul connection of our men and children.

We have a potential within that once tapped, infiltrates all things, and changes them forever, for the better.

It can be really easy to fall into the mindset that the world is our enemy…but am I an enemy to the world?  No.  I am not.  I am better than that.

It isn’t necessary for me to snap at everyone who crosses my path, who cuts me off with their car on the road, who makes eye contact with me on the street or in the grocery store.  Why feed a tempter?  Why feed anger?  Why immediately assume that all defenses need to be thrown up, when in actuality, they don’t?

I’ve been called a nigger to my face; a Black bitch, right in front of my children, for stupid things like not letting a car force its way into my lane.  The urge to get out of the car and pummel has been there, I’m not going to lie.  The desire to “teach a lesson” flashes before my eyes at times.  The instinct to show that person “I won’t be disrespected” flares.

Depending on what else has hit me that day, the anger may stick around for a while, usually until I get on the phone with someone likeminded and vent it out.

Being the bigger person get’s tiring.  Biting my tongue leaves the taste of blood in my mouth on a regular basis.  But no one ever said that doing the right thing was easy.  So I swollow, and I take it.

When I look at girls like Ebonie Shephard, who are constantly pissed off at the world and expressing that anger with violence, I cringe. 

You are showing the world that you are a dark minded and angry person, and you are showing the world that it should continue to treat you (and by relation, me and every other Black woman) with contempt.  You are feeding the sick cycle of biggotry and hatred.

I learned Joy by watching other joyous women of color in my life; by turning to them, by understanding how they handle the challenges of life as a Black woman.

Now, some may be tempted to think (and submit a comment) or suggest that if we as Black women just “let go” of that who Black woman/color/race thing, maybe it won’t be so tough.

You let go of it. 

It’s just not that easy.  I have said before and will say it again now, I only knew I was a human being until society taught me that I was Black.  I can’t let go of my Blackness anymore than White people can let go of White privilage.  We are who we are.

The question is, how are we going to live the life we’ve been given, as Black women?

Being pissed off all the time?  Being a victim all the time?

Or finding authentic joy for ourselves, and giving it to others. 

The choice is yours.  But rest assured, you are not a victim; you’re angry because you want to be.  When you desire more for yoruself, you’ll find a way to move past that, and people will naturally come into your life to help you with that journey.

Until then, you’ll just be another typical pissed off Black woman, and you’ll be alone.

Peace-

Sable Verity

Posted July 14th, 2008:   SPD had to be working on something, because we have not heard hardly 2 words about the suspect orthe search for him.  Not only do they have a suspect, they have such overwhelming evidence, that he has been charged with 2nd degree murder.

My suggestion to Mr. Brown is that you call 911, give them your location, strip down to your birthday suit, go outside, lay face down in the yard, and wait for them to come and get your ass.  If you do anything else, say, try and hide at the homies, or make a run for it, you’re gunna wind up getting shot.

I have never been so happy to see a suspect’s face.  I’ll be even happier to see him caught.

If you see this man in the greater Seattle area, call the police!

Seattle police have identified a suspect in the fatal beating of a Rainier Beach man who was tending a traffic circle last week.

The King County Prosecutor’s Office has charged the man, Brian Keith Brown, 28, with second-degree murder.

A video of the attack, shot by a neighbor, showed Paroline attempting to ignore the girls until they threw water on him from water jug, according to charging papers. Police said the teenagers then removed the cones and Paroline sprayed them with water from the hose.

Several minutes later Brown pulled up in a car and punched Paroline.

The girls first told police that they didn’t know the man who struck Paroline, according to charging papers. The girls later admitted that they knew Brown, who is the boyfriend of someone they know, charging papers say.

Brown has not yet been arrested, and police are searching for him.

For the background, read http://sableverity.wordpress.com/2008/07/12/seattle-murder-leaves-us-all-shocked/

Originally posted July 12 2008:   It is an uncomfortable sense of déjà vu; seven years ago I sat down in the middle of the night at my aging PC, to write about a police shooting I had witnessed in my neighborhood, Rainier Beach.  At the time I was just weeks away from delivering my youngest child, and the violence I had seen that day forever changed me.  I wrote the first words that came to mind:

It is a rare thing to know you are seeing a man living out his last moments.

The man shot and killed by police, a youngish looking Black man, had just minutes before, brutally attacked a group of people while high on drugs; including children.  I still remember vividly the image of a police officer carrying a child from the duplex, her dark brown legs dangling limply over his arms.  It was heart breaking.

I also wrote about the reaction of by-standers at the time.  I happened to be walking home from the library, but many others, who were passing by in their cars, pulled over and got out, watching the events unfold.  I said then:

Things became quiet as the calm arrived before the storm. I stood and watched my people, my brothers and sisters who were responding to the crowd as a time for bonding. I was shocked to see those who were watching the same thing we were, take time to talk about hair, babies, upcoming events and social gatherings, recent deaths and births, divorces and marriages. My husband and I stood in a sea of faces, none of whom we knew, but all felt like family — the aunt who knows everyone’s business, the cousin you never see, and too many of our beautiful babies, all standing around, connecting.

I felt the need to point this out at the time because I was struck and disturbed by how un-effected people seemed to be by what was happening just a few hundred feet away, and how some had claimed the police shot the man “in cold blood”, even after he ran out, shooting at police for all to see.

Fast forward, and here I sit.  I still do all my grocery shopping in Rainier Beach…still use the cleaners too.  But I no longer live in Rainier Beach.  I’ve graduated to a handy lap-top, and my youngest child has since passed away.  Many things have changed in seven years.

But some things have stayed the same.  Senseless violence and death in Rainer Beach seems to be one of them.

I was shocked and sickened yesterday when, in one of my many trips to both daily papers online, I heard about the senseless assault of James Paroline, an RB resident who was attacked while tending to the garden in the traffic circle by his home.  Paroline had set up traffic cones to prevent drivers from running over his hose; this act led to a few altercations, and culminated in him being punched in the face by a twenty-something Black male; Paroline hit the concrete so hard, his scull was crushed- an image that the Seattle PI displayed for all, and which led me back to my computer with these words again in my head:

It is a rare thing to know you are seeing a man living out his last moments.

 

This photo has been purposely altered to dim the image, out of respect for the memory of the victim

That image of Mr. Paroline, lying helpless in the middle of the street, assaulted my senses, nearly making me ill.  The blood.  The caved-in skull.  The limpness of his body.  There was a man living his last moments.  Taking his last free breaths, and for what?  A few traffic cones in the street?  I have seen a lot in my life.  But this…

I am aware that there are some reports that Paroline was a difficult neighbor, while others say the man simply cared about where he lived, and tried to do his part in many ways, one of which was the traffic garden.  Difficult neighbor or not, he didn’t deserve to be punched in the face by a complete stranger.  He didn’t deserve to die just hours later at Harborview Hospital.

I find myself focused on the same issue that I was seven years ago; we as a people, and as a community have a problem.  Seven years ago, a few accused me of portraying Black people as uncaring and flippant, even indignant at what they saw that day.

I suppose I may be accused of those same things today, but a man has lost his life, and another, when caught, will spend most of the rest of his in prison, and for what?  For what?  We should all demand to know the answer to that.  It had nothing to do with traffic cones in the street.

Rainier Beach is a beautiful place.  There are families that have lived there for generations who embody the true essence of community. There are plenty of young adults who live there, that care about it, that are neighborly, that don’t get into trouble.

But then of course, there are many who do not.  They have no respect for themselves or anyone else, and not enough is provided to keep them on track; there can be no solutions to a problem if the problem is left undefined.  If we don’t like it, then what are we prepared to do about it, and when are we going to do it?  I can’t keep track of the number of homicides involving Black youth over the past nine months in the south end and in south east Seattle.  How many more makeshift memorials are we going to have to lay flowers at?

My perception of RB can’t be pawned off on the media’s often disproportionate reporting; I lived in Rainer Beach.  I spent years listening to gun fire all night, waking in the morning to hear accounts from neighbors, watched the fights in the street between young Black men and young Black women, endured the teen-agers and twenty-something’s pushing everyone else out from under the metro bus shelter in order to carry out a quick drug deal, or smoke some marijuana with friends, the police on the other side of the block, or not around at all.  I remember all to well my seven year old coming in crying, because another seven year old threatened to shoot her, because she wouldn’t give him her toy; he told her he was going to get the gun in his house and ran off.  She remained petrified after that.  I passed by the funeral home on Rainier and Henderson, in the heart of “the Beach” every day on my way to work and saw the Black mothers crying for their dead children, while in a jai cell, another young Black man sat awaiting his fate.

The decision to leave Rainier Beach was made solely because of the visible dominating culture; I wanted to get out before it began having a negative impact on my children.  For all of those children you see in RB “hanging out”, there are dozens more whose parents are keeping them in the house, and this is exactly why.  Because someone can walk up to you, who feels they have the right to assault you, or take your life, and do just that.  Rainier Beach has its bullies; anyone who has ever lived there knows that.

The sidewalks have been improved.  A new school is being built.  Spiffy new housing units have gone up, a stone’s throw from light rail, but some things have remained the same.

Another person is dead, and another, will likely be on his way to prison for killing him, unless of course he is justifiably shot by the police first. 

****

I want everyone to know that the photo used in this article, was not used lightly.  When I first happened upon it while checking the local news, it had a profoundly painful impact on me.  I sent an email to the newspaper, asking them to post a warning to readers, so that they could make an informed decision about whether or not they wanted to see it, and I received a gracious reply.  When I first saw the photo, one of my many instincts, was to make a copy, because I knew that it wouldn’t be up for long, because of how graphic it is.  I know that if I saw the need to send a note to the paper, thousands of others did as well; not long after it first went up, it was gone, replaced by a blood stained sidewalk in stead.

I took time to think about whether or not I was going to use it or not, but as you can see, ultimately I decided it’s inclusion was important, vital even. 

Peace,

Sable Verity

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/370578_rainierbeach12.html

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/jamieson/370576_robert12xx.html

Read it or watch it, or both!

Here’s the text.  Still waiting on the video to come through.  I thought it was a fantstic speech.

Sen Barack Obama’s address to the 99th Annual Convention of the NAACP, as prepared for delivery. Text provided by Obama for America.

It is always humbling to speak before the NAACP. It is a powerful reminder of the debt we all owe to those who marched for us and fought for us and stood up on our behalf; of the sacrifices that were made for us by those we never knew; and of the giants whose shoulders I stand on here today.

They are the men and women we read about in history books and hear about in church; whose lives we honor with schools, and boulevards, and federal holidays that bear their names. But what I want to remind you tonight – on Youth Night – is that these giants, these icons of America’s past, were not much older than many of you when they took up freedom’s cause and made their mark on history.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was but a 26-year -old pastor when he led a bus boycott in Montgomery that mobilized a movement. John Lewis was but a 25-year-old activist when he faced down Billyclubs on the bridge in Selma and helped arouse the conscience of our nation. Diane Nash was even younger when she helped found SNCC and led Freedom Rides down south. And your chairman Julian Bond was but a 25-year old state legislator when he put his own shoulder to the wheel of history.

It is because of them; and all those whose names never made it into the history books – those men and women, young and old, black, brown and white, clear-eyed and straight-backed, who refused to settle for the world as it is; who had the courage to remake the world as it should be – that I stand before you tonight as the Democratic nominee for President of the United States of America.

And if I have the privilege of serving as your next President, I will stand up for you the same way that earlier generations of Americans stood up for me – by fighting to ensure that every single one of us has the chance to make it if we try. That means removing the barriers of prejudice and misunderstanding that still exist in America. It means fighting to eliminate discrimination from every corner of our country. It means changing hearts, and changing minds, and making sure that every American is treated equally under the law.

But social justice is not enough. As Dr. King once said, “the inseparable twin of racial justice is economic justice.” That’s why Dr. King went to Memphis in his final days to stand with striking sanitation workers. That’s why the march that Roy Wilkins helped lead forty -five years ago this summer wasn’t just named the March on Washington, and it wasn’t just named the March on Washington for Freedom; it was named the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.

What Dr. King and Roy Wilkins understood is that it matters little if you have the right to sit at the front of the bus if you can’t afford the bus fare; it matters little if you have the right to sit at the lunch counter if you can’t afford the lunch. What they understood is that so long as Americans are denied the decent wages, and good benefits, and fair treatment they deserve, the dream for which so many gave so much will remain out of reach; that to live up to our founding promise of equality for all, we have to make sure that opportunity is open to all Americans.

That is what I’ve been fighting to do throughout my over 20 years in public service. That’s why I’ve fought in the Senate to end tax breaks for companies that ship jobs overseas and give those tax breaks to companies that create good jobs here in America. That’s why I brought Democrats and Republicans together in Illinois to put $100 million in tax cuts into the pockets of hardworking families, to expand health care to 150,000 children and parents, and to end the outrage of black women making just 62 cents for every dollar that many of their male coworkers make.

And that’s why I moved to Chicago after college. As some of you know, I turned down more lucrative jobs because I was inspired by the Civil Rights Movement and I wanted to do my part in the ongoing battle for opportunity in this country. So I went to work for a group of churches to help turn around neighborhoods that were devastated when the local steel plants closed. And I reached out to community leaders – black, brown, and white – and together, we gave job training to the jobless, set up after-school programs to help keep kids off the streets, and block by block, we helped turn those neighborhoods around.

So I’ve been working my entire adult life to help build an America where social justice is being served and economic justice is being served; an America where we all have an equal chance to make it if we try. That’s the America I believe in. That’s the America you’ve been fighting for over the past 99 years. And that’s the America we have to keep marching towards today.

Our work is not over.

When so many of our nation’s schools are failing, especially those in our poorest rural and urban communities, denying millions of young Americans the chance to fulfill their potential and live out their dreams, we have more work to do.

When CEOs are making more in ten minutes than the average worker earns in a year, and millions of families lose their homes due to unscrupulous lending, checked neither by a sense of corporate ethics or a vigilant government; when the dream of entering the middle class and staying there is fading for young people in our community, we have more work to do.

When any human being is denied a life of dignity and respect, no matter whether they live in Anacostia or Appalachia or a village in Africa; when people are trapped in extreme poverty we know how to curb or suffering from diseases we know how to prevent; when they’re going without the medicines that they so desperately need – we have more work to do.

That’s what this election is all about. It’s about the responsibilities we all share for the future we hold in common. It’s about each and every one of us doing our part to build that more perfect union.

It’s about the responsibilities that corporate America has – responsibilities that start with ending a culture on Wall Street that says what’s good for me is good enough; that puts their bottom line ahead of what’s right for America. Because what we’ve learned in such a dramatic way in recent months is that pain in our economy trickles up; that Wall Street can’t thrive so long as Main Street is struggling; and that America is better off when the well-being of American business and the American people are aligned. Our CEOs have to recognize that they have a responsibility not just to grow their profit margins, but to be fair to their workers, and honest to their shareholders and to help strengthen our economy as a whole. That’s how we’ll ensure that economic justice is being served. And that’s what this election is about.

It’s about the responsibilities that Washington has – responsibilities that start with restoring fairness to our economy by making sure that the playing field isn’t tilted to benefit the special interests at the expense of ordinary Americans; and that we’re rewarding not just wealth, but the work and workers who create it. That’s why I’ll offer a middle class tax cut so we can lift up hardworking families, and give relief to struggling homeowners so we can end our housing crisis, and provide training to young people to work the green jobs of the future, and invest in our infrastructure so we can create millions of new jobs.

And that’s why I’ll end the outrage of one in five African Americans going without the health care they deserve. We’ll guarantee health care for anyone who needs it, make it affordable for anyone who wants it, and ensure that the quality of your health care does not depend on the color of your skin. And we’re not going to do it 20 years from now or 10 years from now, we’re going to do it by the end of my first term as President of the United States of America.

And here’s what else we’ll do – we’ll make sure that every child in this country gets a world-class education from the day they’re born until the day they graduate from college. Now, I understand that Senator McCain is going to be coming here in a couple of days and talking about education, and I’m glad to hear it. But the fact is, what he’s offering amounts to little more than the same tired rhetoric about vouchers. Well, I believe we need to move beyond the same debate we’ve been having for the past 30 years when we haven’t gotten anything done. We need to fix and improve our public schools, not throw our hands up and walk away from them. We need to uphold the ideal of public education, but we also need reform.

That’s why I’ve introduced a comprehensive strategy to recruit an army of new quality teachers to our communities – and to pay them more and give them more support. And we’ll invest in early childhood education programs so that our kids don’t begin the race of life behind the starting line and offer a $4,000 tax credit to make college affordable for anyone who wants to go. Because as the NAACP knows better than anyone, the fight for social justice and economic justice begins in the classroom.

But it doesn’t end there. We have to fight for all those young men standing on street corners with little hope for the future besides ending up in jail. We have to break the cycle of poverty and violence that’s gripping too many neighborhoods in this country.

That’s why I’ll expand the Earned Income Tax Credit – because it’s one of the most successful anti-poverty measures we have. That’s why I’ll end the Bush policy of taking cops off the streets at the moment they’re needed most – because we need to give local law enforcement the support they need. That’s why we’ll provide job training for ex-offenders – because we need to make sure they don’t return to a life of crime. And that’s why I’ll build on the success of the Harlem Children’s Zone in New York and launch an all-hands-on-deck effort to end poverty in this country – because that’s how we’ll put the dream that Dr. King and Roy Wilkins fought for within reach for the next generation of children.

And if people tell you that we cannot afford to invest in education or health care or fighting poverty, you just remind them that we are spending $10 billion a month in Iraq. And if we can spend that much money in Iraq, we can spend some of that money right here in Cincinnati, Ohio, and in big cities and small towns in every corner of this country.

So yes, we have to demand more responsibility from Washington. And yes we have to demand more responsibility from Wall Street. But we also have to demand more from ourselves. Now, I know some say I’ve been too tough on folks about this responsibility stuff. But I’m not going to stop talking about it. Because I believe that in the end, it doesn’t matter how much money we invest in our communities, or how many 10-point plans we propose, or how many government programs we launch – none of it will make any difference if we don’t seize more responsibility in our own lives.

That’s how we’ll truly honor those who came before us. Because I know that Thurgood Marshall did not argue Brown versus Board of Education so that some of us could stop doing our jobs as parents. And I know that nine little children did not walk through a schoolhouse door in Little Rock so that we could stand by and let our children drop out of school and turn to gangs for the support they are not getting elsewhere. That’s not the freedom they fought so hard to achieve. That’s not the America they gave so much to build. That’s not the dream they had for our children.

That’s why if we’re serious about reclaiming that dream, we have to do more in our own lives, our own families, and our own communities. That starts with providing the guidance our children need, turning off the TV, and putting away the video games; attending those parent-teacher conferences, helping our children with their homework, and setting a good example. It starts with teaching our daughters to never allow images on television to tell them what they are worth; and teaching our sons to treat women with respect, and to realize that responsibility does not end at conception; that what makes them men is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one. It starts by being good neighbors and good citizens who are willing to volunteer in our communities – and to help our synagogues and churches and community centers feed the hungry and care for the elderly. We all have to do our part to lift up this country.

That’s where change begins. And that, after all, is the true genius of America – not that America is, but that America will be; not that we are perfect, but that we can make ourselves more perfect; that brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand, people who love this country can change it. And that’s our most enduring responsibility – the responsibility to future generations. We have to change this country for them. We have to leave them a planet that’s cleaner, a nation that’s safer, and a world that’s more equal and more just.

So I’m grateful to you for all you’ve done for this campaign, but we’ve got work to do and we cannot rest. And I know that if you put your shoulders to the wheel of history and take up the cause of perfecting our union just as earlier generations of Americans did before you; if you take up the fight for opportunity and equality and prosperity for all; if you march with me and fight with me, and get your friends registered to vote, and if you stand with me this fall – then not only will we help close the responsibility deficit in this country, and not only will we help achieve social justice and economic justice for all, but I will come back here next year on the 100th anniversary of the NAACP, and I will stand before you as the President of the United States of America. And at that moment, you and I will truly know that a new day has come in this country we love. Thank you.

Well, just the fact that he’s going says a lot. 

By William Douglas

McClatchy Newspapers

McCain’s appearance at the NAACP convention Wednesday fits into his effort to reach out to groups that aren’t traditionally courted by Republican presidential candidates. Opportunity and education will be the theme of his remarks, according to Brian Rogers, a McCain campaign spokesman.

“Sen. McCain reaches out to all voters,” Rogers said. “It’s not just lip service. He actually goes, makes his case, not only to tell about his vision, but to hear from them.”

….

huh.

…

might we then, expect something like this?

I’m just asking…